Find out why your baby is crying!
It’s all over the internet that your baby cries differently when hungry, differently when sleepy, etc. Also, that a few weeks after birth you’ll learn what each cries means. This is a myth. And it is a myth that makes the life of new mothers difficult and miserable. Let’s clear the air.
There’s not much difference between how a baby cries. No, it’s not the crying I get to know as a mother, but the baby as such and the circumstances that help to understand what’s going on with your baby. The baby, let’s face it, gives a rather undifferentiated „I’m not well” signal. The dynamics of the crying also help us interprete: where the crying is going and how it reacts to your intervention. The baby cannot distinguish at all between each discomfort and problem, because the baby does not have an understanding of herself.
So how could she be crying differently?!
Forget the myth that there are different kinds of crying. Because it isn’t true and it won’t help. We are much closer to reality if we think differently about crying. Look at the circumstances, the dynamics and what helps and what doesn’t. With time you will be able to figure out what’s wrong with her. Trying to distinguish between different kinds of crying is most likely to frustrate you andmake you fell ashamed for failing to recognise the type. Completely useless! Because the goal itself is wrong. My colleague Ági knew this with Misi, her fourth child. And it was very liberating for her to take care of her baby knowing that crying is crying, and that’s that. She knew that crying itself won’t give any information for her. But zooming out of crying and looking at the whole picture will.
It’s no coincidence that when I pass my baby on to someone for a while, I explain a lot: when my baby slept, when my baby ate, what I expect her to do next. And when I get the baby back, I also get a lot of information: what happened to him while I was away, for example if the baby slept or not, and when and how much. We pretty much all do this involuntarily. Precisely because this information is key to interpreting the baby’s signals. If there were such a marked difference between cries, why would we do this? With a third grade child, we don’t even pass on this kind of information – because she can really tell what’s wrong. But with a baby it’s different.
But you CAN hear the difference in your baby’s cries? Great! Maybe it’s because your baby is bigger and his cues are really more differentiated. Maybe it’s because there really is something distinctive about his crying in certain situations – parenting really is area where everything and the opposite can be true. But if you have a small baby, it’s most likely you involuntarily taking all the circumstances into account and interpreting your baby considering all factors. And so you’re convinced that you’re distinguishing the cries, but you’re actually looking at the whole picture. So, you’re doing very well, keep it up!
Just like you’re doing it very well if you’re saying to yourself, „Well, I think this child is crying in exactly the same way, whatever is wrong with her.” Yes, that’s right. And you don’t need to know more. You must have solved every problematic situation so far, haven’t you? After some tryal and error. There you go! That’s the job done, nothing more.
Do you still need help to interpret situations with you baby? I’m here to support you with my expertise, experience and compassion!