😴 I am NOT a bad sleeper mommy! A baby’s testimony
💤 I have no idea why you’re always saying that about me! I am NOT! I sleep plenty, haven’t you noticed?
📊 But I spend like 50% of my sleep in REM, a lighter sleep mode. Do you know why mommy? So I can get all the nightime care I need to be smart and strong when I grow up!
☝️I can’t grow up to be a superman without you and dad, or granny. I need you to be beside me day and night in the beginning.
👉 I need your help to fall asleep and fall back to sleep.
👉 I especially need your warm milk! 🤱 There is nothing more satisfying for me than nursing: it feeds me, it calms me, it relaxes me, it provides me with all sensory input I need for my healthy development. It kills my pain, too!
🏖️ Could you also keep rocking me while you’re at it? Is there anything better than sipping a cocktail lounging in a hammock on the beach? I knew you would agree with me on that!
🐕 I’m a light sleeper, like a high-classed hound dog, and I need to check regularly if you’re there. This is my first reason for „bad” sleep.
My other reason is that I really like nursing and I need to wake to nurse.
I don’t mean to depreciate your service but if I weren’t on the lookout you might not come for hours. Waiting at my age is hell. 🔥
💩 Pee and poo are easy if I can nurse every hour or so. And Dad loves to brag about my poopy diapers, you’ll see!
🙏 I only wanna be with you! That reminds me, don’t worry if you can’t breastfeed, I only want you! Hold me tight and everything will be alright.
🍼 You can bottlefeed me on demand and I will be just as happy as that breastfed baby next door. Paced bottlefeeding can satisfy my needs for sleep and comfort.
🧘I don’t want your mantra on how you blame yourself for the way things turned out. I need your love❤️, your milk 🍶 and please hold me tight. I don’t need much. I don’t need plans. So don’t worry just go with the flow!
I’ll grow up sooo fast and soon be a teenager and write on my bedroom door: DO NOT ENTER! You can then post about it on instagram to receive empathy from your friends. But if you train me to self-soothe now, I will only learn that I have no one to turn to for help.
I need to be right beside you because I feel lonely and cold alone at night.
📊 You keep my heart rate steady and my breathing smooth. You won’t need that machine to watch me from next door.
I don’t understand how you think you can sleep with dad but I need to sleep alone. Look at me! I’m sooo small! I need someone at night. If you think the teddy bear 🐻 and the monitor will do you should sleep with those! The next room is miles away for me. I can still remember the lion 🐅 breathing down my neck from the stone age. I really don’t mean to get on your nerves but my life depends on you! No joke!
Don’t you get it? 😴 I sleep like a baby! Just snuggle up to me and enjoy!
🧹If you keep doing the housework and complain you’re tired it is not my fault! 🍱 Get food delivered, leave the dishes to dad and stop looking at your phone and sleep with me.
🤶 When granny comes to play with me off you go for a run to recharge! Never mind the laundry. ⌚ Your work is 24/7 with me this is a full time job already!
📝 PS. If I sleep through the night once or twice it doesn’t mean I always will! 👀 I’m not a machine!
💤And never believe that mother next door who says her baby sleeps through from the start! Infra red camera research shows that these „good sleepers” are awake just as much „bad ones” like me.